Japan's Vegetable Game

Lovely! Our first question is in! It comes all the way from Bangkok, sent by carrier pigeon and scrawled on a napkin that reads 'Fcuk Inn - Liquor in the front, poker in the rear.' Lovely.

Mr David Teh, a scantily employed academic asks Miss Kimba:
'Why is it that the japanese eat bugger-all fresh vegetables?'


Hmm -- a real corker of a first question...

In fact, I must take Mr. Teh to task immediately for making a sweeping generalisation that rivals the opening shot of 'Russian Ark.' Who says the Japanese don't eat fresh veggies? It's certainly easier to find yourself a steaming bowl of somen or soba, ramen, udon, or rice, but I baulk at your suggestion they eat 'bugger-all'fresh veg.

It's true to say the Japanese diet is rapidly changing, as are their agricultural practices, just as it's true that (as any 'gaijin' who has tried to buy a tomato knows) procuring natural veggies that haven't been tampered with, shined up, or pumped full of chemicals is a real challenge.

Just to veer wildly and tangentially for a moment, we once had a tomato sitting in our fridge for weeks on end, and it maintained its firm, plump, and sickly pink visage until we threw it out, shrieking in horror at about the five-week mark...

Rice has a lot to answer for in all of this. You see, only 15% of Japan's land is arable, and the vast majority of this land is used to grow rice. The average size of a farm in Japan is just one acre! Thanks to some very complex and thoroughly boring Japanese govt. food control and subsidy policies, it was just more profitable for these farming chappies to grow rice. Many threw in the fresh veggie towel altogether.

It's also difficult to grow veggies in Japan. Due to relatively high temperatures and high humidity in summer season, there's a whole bunch of nasty diseases, insects, pests, and weeds just waiting to make the whole greenhouse go up in flames. To successfully grow anything you gotta have chemical control, plastic coverings, diseases resistant cultivars and so on...try fitting all that on less than one acre!

For this reason over 80% of Japan's veggies are imported. Which, combined with the demand for blemish free, perfectly symmetrical specimens, makes it BLOODY EXPENSIVE to buy fresh.

Still, the Japanese DO eat fresh, but perhaps not if they are saving up for a new Vuitton handbag. While the consumption of fresh vegetables in the average Japanese household has dropped by 24% since 1970, they still spend more on fresh produce than the Americans -- surprise, surprise. While 18% of Japanese households' food expenditure is on fish, and 10% on fresh veggies, the Americans spend 22% of theirs on meat, and only a meagre 5% on veggies.

So there you go Mr Teh. Rest assured that the Japanese are eating veggies, just not when you come to visit.

I conclude this inaugural edition with a useless tidbit that slots in nicely to this fresh produce 'vibe.' Japanese farmers have engineered a square watermelon that fits the dimensions of the average Japanese fridge exactly.

Marvellous!